Words have meaning, except when they don’t

People are ignorant.  This used to make me angry.  Now it just frustrates me, most days.  People can also be mean, that makes me angry ALWAYS.  People who don’t know what they don’t know, can be educated.  People who choose to be mean, and by definition, stupid; they don’t deserve to even be acknowledged, in my opinion.  More on this rant another time…
It kills me that people who have the capacity to know better choose to not to.  Especially when I see my daughter struggle with what I see as simple concepts simply because she cannot grasp the distinction in some things. Case in point, this week we have discussed (again) the difference between boys that are friends and boyfriends. 
First, ugh.  Adolescence is tough enough for them and us as it is, add ASD and it becomes a nail biting, roller coaster for parents and an endless series of ever more intimate questions in a very matter of fact, monotone voice for the teens.  Did I say UGH?!
Second, so much has changed in the decades since I was 15.  An evening spent watching teeny bopper shows
with her has made this painfully apparent.   I am not even sure I KNOW the difference nowadays.  The boundaries are so blurred and she is so concrete in her thinking…One wrong answer could influence her behavior and therefore her interactions for a very long time.
So, I did what I thought would interest her and I told her to google it and tell me what she found out.  The answer was both enlightening and ever so scary…stay tuned 🙂

Love the life you live

Everyone is always wishing for more…more money, more time, more love.  With all this wishing we tend to lose touch with what we have and how these “gifts” nurture our soul and contribute to our day to day happiness.  If someone had told me what a blessing having a child with differing abilities would be when we received her diagnosis, I probably would have laughed in their face.  Yeah, sensory meltdowns, having to make meals around aversive foods that changed daily and had no rhyme nor reason that I could predict, having to “guess” what my non-verbal child wanted/needed and ending up with both of us in tears many days…Yay, me!!!

But after getting my footing and reading lot and lots of information,as well as sorting through the crap and pseudo-science, I realized that my daughter helped contribute to my overall wellness.  If she didn’t have the struggles that she does, I never would have focused on keeping myself well. I often joke that my real job is at home and my paid job is my recreation.  I have to be in tip top condition, even now because I never know when she night NEED me.  Not in the day to day, “Hey, mom, whatcha doing?” kind of way but in the really need me in a digging nails into your arm kind of way.  A parent of a special needs child always has to be ready for those times.

Take time for yourself, even five minutes at the beginning and end of each day.  Count your blessings.  Appreciate the people in your life, those you love for being there and those who get on your last nerve for showing you how strong you really are.  Kiss you child, even when they get to be teenagers and roll their eyes at you in protest.  If you have to wait until they’re sleeping and sneak in and get a kiss, do it.  Then stop and listen to them breathe.  It will feed your soul and remind you why you do the things you do, even when they don’t understand.  It will make a difference, I promise.